Road signs and saddle sores

"For all the shut down strangers and hot-rod angels,
rumbling through this promised land;
Tonight my baby and me are going to ride to the sea
and wash these sins off our hands"

Bruce Springsteen - Racing in the Streets

About that 113km... Theoretically, the real distance between the two cities is no more than 90km. However, I did cycle some 10km down the wrong road and have to turn back at the start of the day. I refuse to take more than half of the blame for this: San Antonio and Valparaiso, the two largest container ports in Chile, you would have thought there would be ample signs between the two towns showing the way, but there aren't, at least not until you are so far down the right road that you can't get anywhere but Valparaiso. Knowing that I had to go towards Santiago part of the way I followed the signs that said Santiago and, well, you can work the rest out yourselves. I should have checked the map better I guess, particularly given that in Chile all roads literally lead to Santiago (they've got signs for Santiago as far south as Puerto Montt, but heaven forbid they should think of having signs to Valparaiso a mere 90km down the road).

The bizarre thing about this is the distance shown in the distance grid on my map is 112km (oh how I laughed when I looked at it, checked the distances on the map and thought "that's way off!"), which can only mean one of two things: 1) They worked out the distance using an old route that happened to be the same as my odyssey yesterday. 2) They have made allowances for the idiot factor and assumed that people will go the wrong way for roughly the same distance as I did before realising (which, if true, as the smarter ones among you will have realised, means that I am 0.975km slower than your average idiot, but we shan't dwell on that).

The episode only served to prove how deceptive time can be on a bike though, for the most part it is slow, almost unimaginably so (as a rough guide: one hour by car = a day's cycling), but you cycle a mere 20 minutes down the wrong road and your day is lengthened by 25%. Add to that the fact that today was by far the most I've climbed in a day (the accumulated climb feature on my watch has a mind of its own, so I can't say it's reliable, but by the end of the day the figure had doubled from the previous day), and the result is some spectacular saddle-sores, sufficed it to say that they were that bad that putting cold E45 on it felt like they were being rubbed with sandpaper.

Regardless, Valparaiso is no mean milestone and even though it does constitute shameless self-backslapping, with eight weeks and 1600km behind me I'm sure you won't begrudge my indulging in a little retrospective. I suppose the one of the things you're all wondering is would I have done anything differently. Where do I start? I would have liked to have spent more time in the far south, perhaps done some of the Carretera Austral; I should have definitely gone to Chiloe; I could have spent more time in the Lakes region, perhaps even crossed to Bariloche; I could have gotten a bus from Temuco or Chillán to here to give me more time for the rest of the trip; I could have camped more (or at all)... I could literally go on all day, but I guess (nay hope) that most of my regrets are the fruit of hindsight and not outright bad decision making, so it's pointless to be second-guessing myself now. And I use the term "regrets" very loosely, because although part of me thinks I should have done some things differently, another part wouldn't change a single kilometer, a single puncture, a single rank B&B, a single red-raw saddle sore. As Douglas Adams wrote: "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be".

San Antonio - Valparaiso

Leg Distance - 113.95km
Leg Time - 6:52.10
Total Distance - 1688.46km

Lago Rapel - San Antonio

Leg Distance - 81.69km
Leg Time - 4:35.51
Total Distance - 1574.84km

San Fernando - Lago Rapel

Leg Distance - 86.66km
Leg Time - 4:41.15
Total Distance - 1493.15km

Links in my previous update have been fixed!

Curicó - San Fernando

Leg Distance - 52.30km
Leg Time - 2:32.54
Total Distance - 1406.49km

See below post for update, don't know why it published it before this one...

Pichangas and punctures

I haven't written much (or indeed, anything) for a week and I have some time to burn so I thought I'd write an update. Not that there's much to tell mind, since leaving Concepción it has been more a case of moving rather than travelling. For one there is considerably less to see within easy reach on bike or public transport around this part of Chile, so there's not much point in lingering around, and also time is pressing. Hopefully I will be in Valparaiso by the end of the week and take a much needed break of two or three weeks. Physically I feel fine, but it has all gotten a bit tedious over the last couple of weeks, and if I don't spend some time away from the bike I can see myself ditching Toops for good within a month. I know this may sound a little negative but it really isn't; if you recall after completing my first day's ride I spoke about how that would be one of the easiest rides because it was still new and exciting. I can't say the cycling isn't exciting anymore, but many things surrounding it aren't, not least the scenery.

North-West Argentina beckons afterwards, and although I'm still undecided on the route a few cursory glances at the map suggests that I will have to camp quite often. Despite my initial reluctance to do so, I am no looking forward to it as hopefully it will make things more interesting. Besides, the prospect of having to wait two hours to cook dinner on a Trangia in the freezing Argentine desert is considerably preferable to some of the places I have had to stay in over the last two weeks.

So, where have I been? Ideally I would have kept meticulous and perceptive notes on the places I'd seen and people I'd met, but I haven't, so I'll just have to reel off from memory what I remember most about each place (if you don't like it, go buy a Bill Bryson book), here goes:

Contulmo - Contulmo was a nice little town on the edge of a lake that I can't remember the name of (seamless travel writing, I know), but it may as well have been on the edge of the Niagara Falls; the one and only thing I will remember it for is that the owner of the B&B I stayed in was the spitting image (physically and phonetically) of the Yes Guy from the Simpsons. I could barely contain my laughter everytime he spoke.

Lebu - I had been riding for the best part of 5 hours in 35 degrees, I had been chased by an angry dog (wolf, I reckon), I was exhausted and my water had run out, but when I cycled over the last ridge and down into Lebu I entered a thick sea fog that felt like heaven. I'm not spiritual, but I cannot think of a better way of describing it. Heaven; no more, no less. Lebu is also known for it's spectacular beaches, beaches which I only saw from afar as I cycled away having spent the best part of a day bedridden having fallen foul of the local sea produce.

Arauco - Worse accommodation of trip so far, best pichanga so far. Days of honey, days of marmite.

Lota - The strip of coastline running from Lota to Lebu constitutes the Costa del Carbon (Coal Coast), which until 1996 was Chile's coal mining heartland. Like most coal regions it has also been traditionally poor, and but for a stunning landscaped park (the whim of a coal magnate's wife) Lota is as close to a slum town as I have seen in Chile. The park, the abandoned mines and the owner's mansions now form a part of a museum circuit that goes some way in describing the miners', by all accounts, grim existence. Many would start working in the pit at 8 (years of age, not a.m.), work 16-hour shifts and if a miner living in company accommodation died, the company would give the family a coffin, four candles for the funeral and an eviction order.

Concepción - Chile's second largest city, Concepción is a student city and felt like a city. I loved it.

Chillán - It was at the B&B in Chillan that I met Steve and Sarah, from Tunbridge, and after my slump in Arauco, the company of fellow English-speaking travellers was a godsend. However, Steve did ask me that dreaded question: "Have you had any punctures?" Steve, if you are reading this, you weren't the first to ask it so don't worry, but you were the one that broke (or started, even) the malefice - over the next three days I had two. Like I said above, I'm not spiritual so I'm sure it was just a coincidence, but just in case you do have precognitive powers, next time you meet a cyclist ask him if he has gotten laid yet.

Parral - Birthplace of Chilean poet and Nobel Laureate Plablo Neruda. Do they have anything to commerate it? Do they fuck.

Talca, Curicó and San Fernando - Not to much to report (other than it's wine country and the home of Gato Negro, I felt humbled!), so that's all until Valparaiso folks.

Talca - Curicó

Leg Distance - 67.93km
Leg Time - 3:24.32
Total Distance - 1354.19km

Parral - Talca

Leg Distance - 93.13km
Leg Time - 4:59.53
Total Distance - 1286.26km

Chillán - Parral

Leg Distance - 65.93km
Leg Time - 3:19.29
Total Distance - 1193.13km

Concepción - Chillán

Leg Distance - 102.38 km
Leg Time - 6:16.42
Total Distance - 1127.20 km

Lota - Concepción

Leg Distance - 41.97km
Leg Time - 2:01.31
Total Distance - 1024.82km

I think the below photo says it better than I could.

While I'm on the subject of photos, I will no longer be posting photos on flicker, because they take forever to upload, so I will just be posting them on Facebook. Those of you who aren't members can see them here , you needn't register or become a member. Enjoy...

Arauco - Lota

Leg Distance - 36.89km
Leg Time - I have no idea, forgot to stop the timer, reckon about two and a half hours
Total Distance - 982.85km

After doing the best part of 400km in a week I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I am feeling like shit today. Of course, not having had a good night sleep since, oh I don't know, leaving the Falklands (uncomfortable beds, polyester blankets that I am allergic to, barking dogs, snorers, air raid sirens... take your pick) and a mild bout of food poisoning in Lebu that kept me bedridden for the best part of a day has all taken its toll. Unsurprisingly I'm not in the best of moods either, the last couple of places have been quite unremarkable by previous standards, (the only exception being Lebu, but as I mentioned I had limited time to appreciate much else aside the ceiling of my room and the toilet), so I seem to have fallen into a bit of a depressing downward spiral of wanting to move on - having to rest - spending more time in shit places than I'd like to - wanting to move on etc etc.

I should point out though that the catalyst to this was without a doubt the place where I stayed last night, both the most expensive and the worst place I have had the misfortune of sleeping in (and believe me, the bar was already pretty low after Osorno) since arriving in Chile. A bathroom straight out of Japanese POW camps doesn't really bother me that much though, I always knew I was on a budget so I shouldn't be surprised, but it never ceases to piss me off when places are run by miserable bastards who obviously hate other people, like yesterday's was. As some sort exercise in irony, this one had "friendly family atmosphere" on their sign - compared to where, Mathausen?

It probably wouldn't have even bothered me a week ago, but I'm considerably more irritable than I was last week; part fatigue, part impatience to get to Valaparaiso and Santiago, part not knowing what route to take in Argentina and Bolivia and I suppose part loneliness too. Still, I'll be breaking the 1000km mark on my next leg, so things could be worse.

Lebu - Arauco

Leg Distance - 87.20km
Leg Time - 4:50.19
Total Distance - 945.96km

Contulmo - Lebu

Leg Distance - 90.59km
Leg Time - 5:19.49
Total Distance - 858.76km

I discovered another maximum speed today, my top sprinting speed. Alas, I don't know what it is, all I know is that it is faster than a marauding German Shepherd. Bastard dogs. How did they ever pass as intelligent? "Oh look, a horizontal shape moving along, it must be another animal, I'll just cross these two lanes of traffic and chase it down furiously and try to maul it, that will be a laugh". Where's a juggernaut when you need one?

It was exactly what I needed half an hour into a 90km leg, a 250m sprint to run away from an angry dog. Toops, bless her, is no race bike, and I'm no Lance Armstrong, (having said that, try winning your 8th tour de France carrying 40kg with you Lance, then come talk to me about whether or not it's about the bike) so by the end of it I could barely stand up. To add insult to near injury, the owner was there, and what did he do? He called it. Well obviously he responds to that, why don't you try dangling a sausage on a fishing rod like in Tom & Jerry cartoons while you're at it? Two words: choke chain. Actually, three words, choke chain then pentobarbital. And yes, I know it's not the dog's fault but the owner's for not training it to not chase beyond its territory, but still, stupid dog...

Either way, some anti-canine counter measures are in order, so feel free to come up with suggestions (I've opened up the comments bit so you don't have to sign in any more). I will consider anything that doesn't kill or injure (the dog at least, can't say the same for the owners), but if you can come up with any of those by all means send them as I will enjoy reading them. So much it worries me.

Bonking

I'd read and laughed about it before starting the trip, but I never thought it would actually happen, particularly as it's down to not eating enough, three words that I've never had to use other than at free buffets (but then, it's never enough). I am of course talking about bonking . Yes, it's also an euphemism for the art of human congress, I know, but let's be mature about this and please don't make me have to moderate the comments section, I don't want to be that guy. The day started pretty well, all things considered: I was cycling into a head wind and it was up and downhill for the first 50km, but nothing unmanageable. As luck would have it, Chile is undergoing something of an Indian Summer at the moment, with 80 year records being broken only 60km north of where I started. I'd had a fairly good breakfast and half of my (by now staple) ham, cheese and avocado roll by the 30th kilometre or so, but when I stopped for lunch around kilometre 50 it was 35 degrees and I couldn't stomach more than the other half of my roll, a banana and a nectarine, so I left the other roll tucked in my pannier and cycled off into the searing heat.

Twenty minutes later it was like I was cycling through treacle. I actually stopped twice because I was convinced that one of the tyres was flat or the mudguards or brake shoes had been bumped and were rubbing against the wheel. Then I thought it was the wind, but the leaves on the trees were't even moving. By the time I realised what was happening I definitely couldn't stomach another roll, so I forced down a couple of handfuls of scroggin and waited five minutes, but to no avail. It was surreal, my legs didn't feel tired (at least no more tired than they had done for the last 3 hours) and I wasn't in any pain, but I just couldn't put any force down on the pedals. To make matters worse, I was crossing something of a mountain range at the time, and although the first 10km had been in the flat valley, the rest were decidely uphill. I would have struggled to cycle up its entirety while fresh, so yesterday it was impossible and I had to walk up. Every now and then I would try and pedal in the hope that I had recovered, but I could never manage more than 250 metres.

Fortunately the last 4km too, were decidedly downhill. It was meandering downhill, sadly, so I still couldn't determine my terminal velocity, but I did inch tantalising close to the coveted 65km/h after reaching 62.7km/h. Gravity, it would seem, is as forgiving to cyclists as it is cruel.

Traiguen - Contulmo

Leg Distance - 82.37km
Leg Time - 5:14.44
Total Distance - 768.17km

Victoria - Traiguen

Leg Distance - 37.21km
Leg Time - 1:43.09
Total Distance - 678.80km

Temuco - Victoria

Leg Distance- 70.2km
Leg Time - 3:13.45
Total Distance - 646.59km

Villarica - Temuco

Leg Distance - 82.9km
Leg Time - 5:05.35
Total Distance - 576.39km

I had been cycling for about an hour and a half out of Villarica when I bumped into Carl having a bite to eat on the side of the road. Carl, from Oxfordshire, had been on the road for five weeks having started in Bariloche and we were both heading to Temuco, so we cycled on together. A couple of hours later we stopped for a break when Patrick, from Switzerland, rolled up. He was also going to Temuco so he joined us and to quote Kris Kristofferson, we had ourselves a convoy. (Patrick, it later transpired, had been on holiday to the Falklands not three weeks ago. My first questions: "Did you go to the Vic? Did you see the daylight clock?" I was beside myself with glee (pride almost) when he answered yes to both.)

In the evening we headed out for a food and a much-needed beer and talked bike for hours: the annoyance of dogs that chase, the sheer genius of petrol station air pumps where you can preset the tire pressure, gravel and tarmac roads... We are all on our first tour and all too keen to share our fresh experiences of touring with other cyclists - there aren't many non-cyclists whose attention you can keep for long with the eternal debate of 26" versus 28" wheels, I can assure you. But it was much more than comparing battle scars, it was validation of sorts, and short of sacrificing a goat and drinking it's blood, it was probably as close to an initiation rite as we were going to get. We will all be going in different directions tomorrow, and even though it has only been one day I for one will miss the company, but having all started independently we all have different routes, different budgets and more importantly, different expectations, so probably for the best.

Either way, Temuco has proved a milestone of sorts as I will have been on the road for 4 weeks tomorrow and have now passed the 500km mark. Another 800km (maybe more) to Valparaiso now (depending on the route I take), which all going well should take me 5 weeks or so (Carl is going by bus tomorrow, it will take him 10 hours, I still get surprised by the sheer difference in time scales when travelling by bike). There I will have to make some decisions about my route, which won't be easy as at the moment I'm changing my mind on a daily basis.

On another note, I will be posting less often from now on. At the risk of tempting fate, I think I've found my stride and there is less for me to, well, whine about, so the blog will probably all the more interesting if there is more time and events in between updates. I will still be posting the leg data on a regular basis for those of you who are interested or simply taking bets on my progress and need the distances to alter the odds accordingly. Winks, remember what we said, fifty-fifty on all takings.

Pucon - Villarica

Leg Distance - 25.42km
Leg Time - 1:24.32
Total Distance - 493.49km

I may be gone for a while...

I was actually adamant on not coming to Pucon when I started, for the simple reason that it is a bit touristy. And when I say a bit, I mean entirely. With two volcanoes and two national parks a stone's throw away, the town is something of a mecca for river sports and trekking fans in the summer and ski-types in the winter. Every imaginable activity that can be done on or around mountains, lakes and rivers is available here and the streets teem with businesses offering them, and it was this that had put me off it originally.

However, I was on the road to Villarica when I realised that other than cycle and rest and the odd national park day trip, I haven't really done much.. Given that I'm Pacific bound again after this, I probably won't have much opportunity to do so for a while, so I decided to go on to the well-trod and beaten track and indulge. And what was the first thing I did? I hired a mountain bike and went cycling in the hills. Not much of an indulgement given the nature of my trip, I know, but I'd originally arranged to go on a two hour downhill ride (completely different kettle of cycling), which got cancelled, and by then it was too late to go on another excursion. I did feel a bit guilty to be cheating on Toops with what to all intents and purposes was a bike-prostitute, but it was nice to cycle for the fun of it and be able to go off road without worrying whether the fork is going to break in two. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if the other cycling isn't fun, but it comes with the constant stresses of kilometre-watching, trying to not to miss turn-offs, lorries skimming your ear, eating and drinking enough... Fun yes, relaxing no.

The main attraction (or at least the most imposing) in Pucon however is the active 2847metre Villarica volcano, and after my busman's holiday of the previous day climbing it seemed like the catharsis I needed before heading for the coast and bright lights of Concepcion. Sure enough, it was a great experience, particularly climbing over ice and snow for the last couple of hours. Sadly, the day turned cloudy and ruined the view from the top; you couldn't see 10 metres in front of you and had it not been for the odd sulphurous cloud, it could have been anywhere else but Volcano summit.

I should point out that "climbing a volcano" probably sounds more dramatic than it is, and the ice-picks and crampons notwithstanding it was hardly Scott of the Antarctic stuff, but I shan't be telling girls this when I re-tell the story. I dare say the terms "near-death" and "crevasse heroics" will be used liberally.

Lican Ray - Pucon

Leg Distance - 54.43km
Leg Time - 3:29.47
Total distance - 468.07km

I thought I better put the latest leg up, lest the more impatient start sending abusive mail. I did cycle on from Lican Ray the day after my last post, but I decided to continue on to Pucon rather than Villarrica. Unfortunately I don't have much energy to explain why or indeed describe the wonders of Pucon tonight so I shall leave you safe in the knowledge that I managed to leave the god-forsaken place that was Lican Ray - you literally couldn't see me for dust.